About Me and You
by wonderwaller
Summary: two people love each other from a distance, while dealing with the self destruction of themselves. Troypay. sorry this summery stinks.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer- I own nothing but the lap top I type this from, the ipod which gives me inspiration, and my high school musical DVD which is the only way I can get my kids at camp to listen.

The song used in this chapter is Mixtape by Butch Walker. I modified some of the genders so it would fit the story.

_You say hello, inside I'm screaming I love you_

In he walks, he says hello and takes everything I have not to break my Ice Queen facade. I'm a bitch, I make no excuses.

"Hey Troy", Its no secret, everyone knows I like him. I've liked him forever.

_You say goodnight, in my mind  
I'm sleeping next to you_

Darbus busts into the room before I could even dream of deepening the conversation with Troy. We've known each other forever and I would consider him a good friend. He well I'm not even sure I want to know what he thinks of me. Ice Queen. I hear what they say, I see the fear in their eyes when they walk by me. I like it, its control. It's the one thing in my life that I can control.

_You drive away from my car crash of a heart  
And I don't know_

The bell rings and wakes me from my contemplation. I look over to Troy to wave goodbye and notice something which I should have picked up on, he looks tired. Not tired. More than tired. Hollow. Pshh I brush away my thoughts, he's probably just having a fight with Gabriella.

_But you gave me the best mixtape I have  
And even all the bad songs ain't so bad  
I just wish there was so much more than that  
About me and you_

We used to be best friends. Bet you didn't know that about the Ice Queen. But that was before it happened, before my passion and drive became twisted into attitude and heartlessness. It being the abandonment of a child, two children by their mother. My mother peaced out with her accountant when I was 11, and my father stopped coming home by the time I was 11 ½. So, I became who I am, the Ice Queen. I no longer had time for friends, even if you were Troy Bolton. No I had to become what my mother said I never could.

_You talk to her, and it burns me like the sun  
You talk to him, and you say that you feel like she's the one_

_I talk to me, but you can't hear the pain I feel  
You don't know_

I see you talking to Gabriella. You think you love her. You talk about it as though you do. But I know you, I know you could never be satisfied by a creature so simple. You need to be challenged. You need a girl who will make you run to your car in the pouring rain to get the sweater that you warned her not to forget. Not the one who will grin and shiver to herself. You need the girl who will keep you on you toes, who will call you on your shit. Not the girl who will silently nod and whisper her opinions. You need the girl who knows you, and I need the boy that knows me. Forget puppy love, and just remember me.

_Cause you gave me the best mixtape I have  
And even all the sad songs ain't so sad  
I only wish that there was more than that  
About me and you_

It was the last birthday before my mom left, that's when I knew that we were supposed to be together. Everyone bought me expensive things trying to win my friendship, but not you, you already had that. You told me that you worked on it for a week, and that it was filled with all the songs that made you think of me. You put my favorite showtunes on it because you knew I hummed them all the time. You liked it when I softly sang songs, so you put a few of your favorite ones on there too, hoping that I would start humming them around you. And I would have, I fully planned on it. I listened to that CD every night until she left. When she walked out that door, a little piece of me left too, and when my father followed suit I was barely left with anything. I put my heart back together the only way I knew how. Stone. Cement. Pain. I was so young. No one spoke to me about it. It was the only thing I knew to do, I pushed everything but Ryan, music, and acting away. Everything including you.

_Oh, don't turn around and say bye again  
Yeah it crushes my head when you call me  
Your friend and I'm not the same person  
From back in the day in the back of the class  
That you thought was gay_

It was only natural for you to resent me. Losing a best friend is a two-way street of pain. But I'm still the same little girl who you would let win at horse. The same girl who stayed awake all night with you talking on walkie talkies when you had the chicken pox. I'm still in here, I know I am. Maybe I pushed you away because you could bring that little girl out. But that little girl gets hurt. Sharpay Evans, Ice Queen, does not. However times have changed, and I wouldn't mind letting that little girl show her face now and then. But what were you supposed to do, wait? And what am I supposed to do? Your friends rightfully hate me, and I think you may too.

_No I can't find the words cause I lost them  
The minute they fell out of my mouth  
And it's love and I'm in it, so give me your lips  
And just let me kiss 'em_

**Thud**. I guess I'm not the only one wandering around school with her mind else where. Normally this isn't an issue however because people move when I walk through these halls. **Umpf.** I hit the floor, and then a large body hits me.

"I don't know who the hell you are, or what the hell you're doing, but if you do not get off of me this instant I will make you eat your teeth".

Its then I notice who it is, and no sooner do I realize I instantly wish I hadn't been so quick to get him off of me.

"Sorry Sharpay", a tired blushing Troy says. Blushing? Its then that I notice my disheveled skirt up and showing my underwear, yep this is totally my day. You lift me as though it was nothing and walk away before I can even yell.

_The best mixtape I have  
And even all the bad songs ain't so bad  
I just wish there was so much more than that  
About me and you  
About me and you  
About me and you  
About me and you  
About me and you  
About me and you_

Something's up. I knew something was wrong, but don't think I didn't notice you blushing Troy Bolton. I quickly exit school to go home and A. figure out what's wrong with Troy and B. find that damn mixtape.

Please Review, there will be more _  
_


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer:I own nothing, the songs Be My Escape by Relient K

_I've given up,   
I'm giving up slowly,  
I'm blending in so you won't even know me _

Me? Who am I? The basketball guy? Now the musical guy? The guy with the smart hot girlfriend? The guy who everyone wants to be? She used to know me. She being the --

**Thud Umpf**

Gosh can't people watch where they are go---I look down and there she is. I quickly jump up and notice her skirt up to her chin, exposing her underwear for all to see. I blush, the most emotion I've felt in awhile, and pull her up as quickly as she fell. I'm late for practice so I can't stay to listen to her squeal, or to even notice that she was blushing too.

_  
Apart from this whole world that shares my fate  
This one last bullet you mention   
Is my one last shot at redemption  
cause I know to live you must give your life away_

"Get your head in the game", my father no my coach screams, people think they are so damn catchy with this one, I swear to God if one more person tells me to get my head in a friggin game I'll, "make them eat their teeth" I whisper, smiling to myself recalling an angry Sharpay beneath me. She's so hott when she's pissed, yet beautiful when she's not hiding. Hiding, she's been hiding since her mother abandoned her and Ryan and her father consumed himself in work. But then again I can't be pissed at her for hiding, because it's exactly what I'm doing.

_  
And I've been housing all this doubt  
And insecurity  
And I've been locked inside that house  
all while you hold the key_

She would know too. I guarantee you. Sharpay Evans would call me on my shit so quickly if, if I ever said more than hi to her. We cover the basics in conversations, never letting each other get to close. My love for basketball has grown to a hatred, the pressure my father puts me under, the team.. I had no choice, I'm so young. I can only handle so much on my own.

_  
And I've been dying to get out  
And that might be the death of me  
And even though, there's no way in knowing where to go, promise I'm going because  
I-I gotta get outta here _

Last year we brought the championship home. I thought that would be enough to satisfy my father, my team mates, the fans..but no, they always want more, and whose going to give them more? Me, I'm falling under the pressure and no one notices. Not my dad. Not my mom. Not Chad or the guys. Not even Gabriella. No one notices my empty eyes, no one notices the pills I've been taking at lunch. No one notices how I can magically run a little faster, jump a little higher, rebound a little stronger.

_  
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake  
I-I gotta get outta here  
And I'm begging you, _

I drop hints too. I don't want to fall into this. I don't want these pills to control my life. But they make it so much easier. Can you blame me? I carry this school on my shoulders, and I don't mind. I like being the hero, I like saving the girl. I want to save that girl.

_  
I'm begging you, _

It still eats me inside that I couldn't save her when her mom left her. I should have been able to make her leave her house, I should have been able to make her smile, I should have been able to see through her act earlier, but no. I was hurt, so I withdrew. I joined everyone else in believing she is the Ice Queen. And she joined everyone else in thinking that I am Mr. Perfect.

_  
I'm begging you to be my escape  
I'm giving up  
I'm doing this alone now  
Cause I've failed and I'm ready to be shown how_

I'm pissed at everybody. These pills are my only friends. As the season progresses I take more and more. However, it's a race I'm bound to lose, cause the better I get the more he expects of me.

Jump higher.

Run quicker.

45 points? It should be 60.

You should have stopped that fast break.

You should have gotten that rebound.

You should have made that shot.

People don't see my dad, not the way he really is. They think that he leaves it on the court, that he is just doing all he can to help his son achieve his goals. They don't know that it's really just so I can do what he can't….but I'm starting to, and I can tell that he's become envious.

_  
He's told me the way and I'm trying to get there  
And this life sentence that I'm serving  
I admit that I'm every bit deserving  
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair  
_

It was my birthright to finish what my father started, no one warned me however about the prices that had to be paid. I work hard. I win. Yet I fail. I get good grades, I get the lead in the school play, I get the hottest well second hottest girl in school. What's wrong with me? I'm still not happy. There are two things left that make me happy A. these sky blue pills B. Sharpay Evans

_  
Cause I've been housing all this doubt  
And insecurity  
And I've been locked inside that house  
All while you hold the key_

Sharpay. Pill. Sharpay. Pill.

_  
And I've been dying to get out  
And that might be the death of me  
And even though, there's no way in knowing where to go, promise I'm going because  
I-I gotta get outta here _

"We're over Troy, you're never here for me anymore…all you think about is basketball its all you love anymore", Gabriella screams at me.

"Shows what you know", I state.

_  
Cause I'm afraid that this complacency is something I can't shake yeah  
I-I gotta get outta here _

2 pills here 3 pills there.

_  
And I'm begging you,  
I'm begging you,  
I'm begging you to be my escape  
_

The more I take, the less pain I feel, the more they love me the easier it is. I'm not an addict. You wouldn't understand unless you were there. I don't have any problems. There's nothing wrong with me.

_  
I am a hostage to my own humanity  
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I've made  
And all I'm asking is for you to do what you can with me  
But I can't ask you to give what you already gave _

Cause I've been housing all this doubt  
And insecurity 

I don't even know what I'm taking anymore. They give them to me and I swallow. I hurt all the time, I need anything to numb this pain.

_  
And I've been locked inside that house  
All while you hold the key  
And I've been dying to get out  
That might be the death of me  
And even though, there's no way in knowing where to go, promise I'm going because  
_

You walk by me, I smell your perfume. You're singing a song. You're singing my song. I used to wish you would sing my song. That's why I made you that tape. You stare at me. You look scared. I keep moving.

_  
I-I've gotta get outta here  
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake  
_

All I am lately is angry or blissful. You make me angry. Fuck you Sharpay Evans, you should never have shut yourself off, you should save me. Yet, if I could, I would jump your bones and take you away from this place. If you were mine I would never leave you Sharpay Evans.

_  
I-I've gotta get outta here  
And I'm begging you,  
I'm begging you,  
I'm begging you to be my escape  
_

I want to get out with you, but I don't want you to save me. I'm supposed to save you Sharpay, stop looking at me like that. Don't ask me if I'm ok. Can't you see that this is the easiest way to exist? Without all this pain.

The rush is unreal. I don't even know what I am on. We're at this party, I see you across the room. You look wow, I need to kiss you. I walk towards you, you look scared, worried.. I hate it when you look at me like that. My songs playing, the one you softly sing all the time. I grab you, I kiss you as hard as I can. You fight for a little but you fall into the kiss, it makes me feel all these things I've been working so hard to avoid. I push you away and run scared.

_  
I've known you for so long  
I should've let you in  
oh how we regret those things we do  
And all I was trying to do was  
Save my own skin  
But so were you  
So were you..._


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: you know I own nothing. And Butch Walker owns "best thing that you never had"

Author's note: this chapter was expressed in Sharpay's anger and confusion, she's a one sided angry little person  but I guess that's why we love her. Thanx for the reviews I'm getting. I have all these ideas and will prolly update really frequently.

_Hello how you doing?  
What's it like to ruin all my self esteem  
Let me blow off some steam_

How dare he. He blows me off, walks around like a zombie and then kisses me. Not just kisses me, but passionately kisses me the way you only see in the movies. Too bad he ran away the second it was over. No not just ran away, pushed me away. In front of everyone.

_  
For 5 years I've waited,  
So why am I jaded to get back at you  
What makes it cool  
_

It's on Troy Bolton. I thought you were different. He knew; he knew I like him. He did it to embarrass me. I make myself angry so I don't feel the hurt, so I don't feel the pain, so I don't feel the pure ecstasy that kiss gave me.

_  
When you act like nothing ever happened  
I feel like I should feel bad  
But I can't like someone who thought  
They're the only one that mattered  
I hope that you're flattered  
Cause you broke this down  
The best thing that you never had_

You walk by me at school and don't even acknowledge I exist. People whisper about you melting the Ice Queen. I bet your proud Troy Bolton.__

And it seems like a loss somehow  
My heart got lost on the way to my head  
And my brain cells are dead  
And the craziness shows  
Now I start to go when the green turns to red  
And I should be dead  


People talk about it like one of your stupid basketball games. Like a play by play until you score the touchdown or goal or whatever it is you and your nimrod friends do. "Troy Bolton picks out his prey---walks across the room, grabs the Ice Queen and melts her with his bare lips" I hear a freshman say.

"Oops.", I exaggerate as I knock their books over. Ryan looks at me like I'm that broken little girl again. And I am. Fuck you Troy Bolton.

_  
When you act like nothing ever happened  
I feel like I should feel bad  
But I can't like someone who thought  
They're the only one that mattered  
While my heart got shattered like romantic roadkill  
My heart is all splattered your ego got fatter  
And I hope that you're flattered  
Cause you broke this down  
The best thing that you never had  
_

But that kiss. That kiss rocked me to my very core. It was then that my plan formulated. I no longer cared about the emptiness in Troy's eyes. I no longer cared that he wasn't being himself. No. Troy Bolton took a good first shot at me but he would be sorry. Ice Queen? You have no idea.

_  
Like the toilet seat never got lifted  
And I pissed on your confidence  
When you weren't around, how can that be?  
Don't turn this around  
You were the one  
Who drove my ass right to the ground  
_

The next day I took a little extra time getting ready. I wore a tight black dress and put on black pearls and black heals. I put on just the right amount of make up with my smokey eyes and loosely curled hair. Troy Bolton played with ice, now he better be ready to freeze.

_  
When you act like nothing ever happened  
I feel like I should feel bad, and I can't like  
_

You were sitting by yourself, listening to your ipod. You looked lost. I almost felt bad for you. You looked up at me with those lost eyes. I walk. I walk ,my walk ,**the** walk. Everyone looks at me; they know what's going on. I hear them whisper about how good I am looking today, I know it's true. I lock eyes with you and put on my stone face.

_  
Someone who thought  
They're the only one that mattered_

You look so pale. So fragile. But you have to pay, you have to learn.

_  
While my heart got shattered like romantic roadkill  
My heart is all splattered your ego got fatter  
And I hope that you're flattered_

I finally reach you. The music blares from your headphones—our song, why do you have to make this so hard. You stand up, I pull you close, a piece of paper could barely fit between our lips. I look into your eyes, its then I see how lost you are. Your hands are on my waist slowly moving down, you're eyes are closing, mouth parting. Now, I coax myself, this is when the plan goes into effect. I'm about to pull away and make you look like a fool, you stumble, and now I'm scared.

_  
Cause you broke this down_

You're sweating. You're eyes are glazed over. You're swaying back and forth. Everyone is looking at us, this is the moment. I'm so concerned. Your face is so slim. Yet your embrace is strong and hungry.

_  
You broke this down_

"How does is feel to be the fool?" I whisper, open my eyes and march away. I don't turn around. The bit will lose its effect if they all saw me crying. I'm a bitch. I make no excuses.

_  
The best thing, the best thing,  
The best thing that you never had_

_You never had…_


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: none of its mine, and the song is Not and Addict by K's Choice

_Breathe it in and breathe it out  
And pass it on, it's almost out  
We're so creative, so much more  
We're high above but on the floor  
_

The pills soon turned into more, anything to get rid of this pain. I had it under control, it being the pain. I really did, just the right amount of pills so I wouldn't feel, so I wouldn't hurt. I just had to kiss you, I had to clear that fog I've been thickening for months. That kiss brought back the pain. It's as though I brought back my pain and absorbed yours. And I didn't like it, no not one bit. The feelings I mean…not the kiss that kiss, Sharpay Evans I could kiss you forever.

_  
It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive  
If you don't have it you're on the other side  
_

So this is where I am left, so high I'm oblivious to your feelings to the fact that you are there. I walk by you in school, because if we were to talk I'd have to kiss you, and then I'd have to feel. And that is just not going to happen. No matter how beautiful you look, no matter how intelligent you are, no matter how sexy you look in that white skirt, no matter how sad you look when you look at me. I made you sad? Great now I hurt some more, screw you and your conundrum of pain and rapture.

_  
The deeper you stick it in your vein  
The deeper the thoughts, there's no more pain  
I'm in heaven, I'm a god  
I'm everywhere, I feel so hot_

I want you. Here. Now. With me. No questions, no conversation. Just me, just you. I'm on top of the world. You want the winning basket? I'll score it for you. I'd do anything for you Sharpay. Stop looking so sad, you are bringing me down from the greatest feeling alive. Well, second greatest. You're lips are the first. I need to kiss you again.__

It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive  
If you don't have it you're on the other side  
I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie)  


There's nothing wrong with me. I sweat a lot but so what, its just nerves. I look in the mirror and realize how slim my face looks, how glazed over my eyes are. When's the last time I've eaten? I get angry, because no one says anything to me. You used to question me, but you stopped. Not that there's anything wrong with me.

_  
It's over now, I'm cold, alone  
I'm just a person on my own  
Nothing means a thing to me  
(Nothing means a thing to me)_

You walk into homeroom. Not walk, mortals walk. You float. You're wearing the most wow. You truly are beautiful. I ask to use the bathroom and nearly break out into a sprint. You look far to hott to merely be roaming these halls. I break out my pills and stare at them in my hand. I need them like a fish needs its water, like a song needs its notes. They are me and I am them. I take a few extra because you just had to wear that tight black dress.__

It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive  
If you don't have it you're on the other side  
I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie)

I'm sitting outside listening to my ipod. Listening to our song. The song I want to sing to you, and you to sing softly for me. I let the buzz take me over, closing my eyes enjoying the solitude. I look up and there you are, walking that walk…your walk. You should teach supermodels how to walk, I am captivated by the rhythm in your steps. You stare at me, it almost leaves me vulnerable. I am suddenly happy I took some extra pills, they will keep me in check.__

Free me, leave me  
Watch me as I'm going down  
Free me, see me  
Look at me, I'm falling and I'm falling.

You stop in front of me so I rise and remove my earphones. Our song. We are standing here listening to our song. You grab me and I let you because your lips look perfect, but I know your secret I know that they aren't whole without mine on them. I slowly move my hands below your waist. I need you. Now. I close my eyes and part my lips. I feel your hot breath on my lips I …wait. I'm waiting. I open my eyes to be greeted by a spinning world. Everything is blurry but you. You look terrified. I don't care if I can't see. I just want your lips.__

It is not a habit, it is cool I feel alive I feel...  
It is not a habit, it is cool I feel alive  


You look deep in thought. And I am being as patient as I can, partly because the world won't stop spinning but mostly because I want you to take control, I want you to want me as much as I want you. I hold you tightly as my hands have somehow found their way to your ass. We are so close, I'm about to pull you into me when---

"How does it feel to be the fool?" And bam you're gone. I swallow hard..and realize what you meant by making me eat my teeth.

I sit down and pop a pill. I don't care if everyone sees me. How does it feel? I'm going to make sure that I can honestly not have an answer to that question.

_  
It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive  
If you don't have it you're on the other side_

Pill. Pill. Pill. Pill. You. You. Pill. Pill. You. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I float everywhere. Days pass, weeks, who knows? Until it all goes black….so very black.

_  
I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie)  
I'm not an addict..._


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing, and the Counting Crows own this amazing song.

AN: I once again changed some of the genders in the song so it will flow properly.

Thank you to those who are reviewing for the reviews, this chapter goes out to all of you.

_Gonna get back to basics  
Guess Ill start it up again  
I'm falling from the ceiling  
You're falling from the sky now and then_

I let myself get hurt. I deserve this pain. You have no idea how hard it was for me to walk away from you, to leave you like that. But now the control is back. I'm putting myself back together, slowly but that's ok. I just wish that you would show some sign of life. Ryan comes home and tells me I was brilliant, and holds me while I cry. I never cry. Fuck you Troy Bolton.

_  
Maybe you were shot down in pieces  
Maybe I slipped in between_

We were 9 years old and were playing manhunt in the park behind the pool. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was nighttime pitch dark, the boys said that way the game would be more difficult. I was scared, but I wasn't about to show it. I didn't have to though, because you knew. When we had to run and hide you took my hand and let me hide with you. You promised me that you would never leave me alone, and that I would never have to be scared—because I had you. You told me that if I was ever scared I could call you on our walkie talkies and you would run to my rescue.

You never covered what I was supposed to do when you were the one scaring me

_  
But we were gonna be the wildest people they ever hoped to see  
Just you and me  
So why'd you come home to this sleepless town  
Its a lifetime commitment  
Recovering the satellites  
All anybody really wants to know is...  
When you gonna come down_

They tell me that you're taking something. That the second I walked away you popped a pill into your mouth and the ipod into your ears. I want to confront you but I'm scared. I can't even describe the state you are in. People stare at you, but you're too far gone to notice. They whisper. And I stare, and tell them to screw themselves. They quiet, but I know it's not for long.

_  
your mother recognizes all you're desperate displays  
and she watches as her babies drift violently away_

I'm driving home and watch as your mother kicks you out of the house. She's a wreck, screaming, crying, and pushing you trying to get a reaction. You show none. You just pick up your bag and walk away. I don't even know if what you do can be considered as walking anymore, you float. And that's not a compliment.

_  
till they see themselves in telescopes  
Do you see yourself in me?  
Were such crazy babies, little monkey  
Were so fucked up, you and me_

I'm at the park, sitting on the swing trying to clear my mind when you appear. You don't even look at me; I doubt you know I'm there. You're singing our song, the same song I've been desperately trying to get out of my head. I put the mixtape away again. I put it away praying that my feelings for you would follow suit.

_  
So why'd you come home to this faithless town  
Where we make a lifetime commitment  
To recovering the satellites  
And all anybody really wants to know is...  
When are you gonna come down_

You are out of control, you're face is strained, eyes glazed and tired, and you look like you haven't showered or slept in days. I'm no longer scared, I'm pissed.

_  
He sees shooting stars and comet tails  
He's got heaven in his eyes  
He says I don't need to be an angel  
But I'm nothing if I'm not this high_

You somehow make your way to the music room, where I am playing my anger off. I'm singing with rage as my fingers dominate the piano. You stumble and I scream. I tell you that you're being selfish and that you have no idea how petrified your mother is. I tell you that you look like shit and you need to stop taking the pills. I scream about how everybody's talking about you, that they all judge you now; I push over some chairs when I tell you how much time Ryan and Gabriella have been spending together. I'm crying, you're making me cry again. I can't even catch your eyes you are so messed up, which angers me more. My path of destruction brings me to you, you are standing inches away from me and I am doing all I can to get a reaction, but it's to no avail.

_  
But we only stay in orbit  
For a moment of time  
And then you're everybody's satellite  
I wish that you were mine_

I'm pissed and confused and you won't show emotion. I do the only thing I know to do, the only thing that has somewhat brought you out of your daze in the past. I kiss you. I kiss you with everything I have, sacrificing my heart in pure desperation that it will bring you around. I need to bring you back, nothings the same without you.

_  
So why'd you come home to this angels town  
Its a lifetime decision  
Recovering the satellites  
Everybody really knows for sure..._

I pull away and almost think I see something in your eyes when **thud umpf**.

For the second time this year I find myself beneath you, except this time, I'm positive that you're not conscious.

_  
That you're gonna come down  
that you're gonna come down_


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the dream of 100 troypay fics magically appearing, or maybe an Ashley Zac one, now that would be interesting...hmm maybe I should ponder that one..

Oh, Ryan Adams owns the song "Please do not let me go" it's a real gentle song which I thought would add a contradiction to the dialogue (yep I said dialogue) in this chapter.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_If the walls in the room could talk  
I wonder to myself would they lie _

It stops being black and I look up to see a hysterical you. I try to move, but I can't well at least, not yet. I'm waiting for the words to come, I'm waiting to ask you what's wrong and then kick whose ever ass I need to, to make it right, but they aren't coming. Its then I look at you, I see your lip gloss smeared I lick my lips and taste what I recognize as your strawberry flavored gloss. Did I hurt you? I hope to God I didn't force myself on you. I'm panicking, and now I cannot breathe.

"Troy, what's wrong with you?" you sob. I feel my heart break and am brought back to the pain, my kryptonite.

_  
It's like some kind of jail  
Fall from the curtains onto the bed _

"Oh my God I didn't do anything to you did I Sharpay?" the words finally come, probably the most I've strung together in a long time. There's something about seeing the girl you love in hysterics that will kill just about any buzz.

_  
I'm all alone now, I can do as I please  
I don't feel like doing much of anything _

"This isn't about me, not anymore" you shake, "Troy you have a problem, what are you taking?"

I'm enraged. I'm not an addict; I don't have a problem, do I? Something must not be right; I can't even remember what happened 5 minutes ago let alone the past week or however long it's been. The last thing that I distinctly remember is being left in the middle of the entire school looking like an ass.

"Nice of you to care now, I don't seem to recall you giving a shit when you left me in front of the entire school" I scream, filling myself with emotions I'm not ready to deal with.

You take a deep breath, you wipe away your tears and prepare to put on your stone face and become the Ice Queen.

"Don't do that now, no not when we're about to go somewhere don't hide from me Sharpay don't become the frost bitch" I slur. Slur? Maybe I do have a problem.

_  
True love ain't that hard to find  
Not that you will ever know _

"Don't you dare" your eyes light with fire, "don't you dare judge me on how I choose to put back together what everyone else broke…you do not get to call me out like that Troy Bolton, not when your diet of the past month has been pill after fucking pill.."

"—and your lips" I quickly add loving how sexy she looks when she's pissed, "I've definitely feasted on your lips."

"Fuck you" you scream as you push me into a wall.

"I wish you would, you have no idea how much I wish you would", I reply in my husky voice and attempt to pull you into the wall with me.

"Where have you been staying, Troy?" you ask completely blowing past my previous statement, "I saw your mom kick you out of the house" she pulls herself away from me and begins to hug herself.

"I don't, I don't, gosh I don't know", and it's the truth, it's all a blur to me all of it but you, you are the only thing that's clear to me anymore Sharpay.

_  
Would you lay here for awhile?  
Please, do not let me go  
Please, do not let me go _

Tears fill your eyes and your lip begins to quiver.

"Please don't cry Sharpay" I whisper as you began to bawl, "Gosh don't cry" I envelop your small frame in my strong arms.

"You scare me Troy, you scare me so much. Please let me help you I don't know what I'll do with myself if your not ok" Your tears wet my shirt, I feel…I feel bad. I reach in my back pocket for an easy solution to this overwhelming pain.__

You were sweet enough to sing,   
Oblivious to melody  
Red suitcase full of clothes  
Washed up on the shore of memory 

You look up in horror as I am about to place the pills in my mouth, you take them, smack me, and then reach into my back pocket to get the rest.

"No way, Troy no fucking way, you want to make me stop crying? You want to be my night in shining armor?" you scream knowing my hearts intend, "stop taking these damn pills, do you even know what they are?"

"You told me not to judge you? So how about you leave me the hell alone?" I reach for the pills but you're too quick in my dazed state.

I feel the room start to spin again, it's been too long...it's been too long since I've had one.

"Please Sharpay give them back you don't understand" I whisper only to see you stomp on them and bury them in the trash, "you bitch you don't understand" I run at her grab her as tightly as I can as my arm raises in the air..

_  
I'm all alone now and I feel just find  
I don't feel much like doing anything _

You flinch. I was about to hit you. I have a problem. I know that now.

"oh my God" I say as I run to the trash can and vomit, "I am so sorry I can't believe I almost hit you, I need help Sharpay I need help" I cry, you hug me and I nearly suffocate you with my body.

_  
True love ain't that hard to find  
Not that either one of us will ever know_

"You can stay with me and Ryan, you know my father is never home. This isn't going to be easy Troy, but I will help you through it every step of the way. I warn you though, if you mess up, if you take another pill or anything—even if it's just once, you're out" you reply in a monotone voice looking straight forward.

I nod. And let you hold me for a bit longer.

_  
Would you lay here for awhile?  
Please, do not let me go  
Please, do not let me go_


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, and the song is "The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot" by Brand New

_If it makes you less sad, I will die by your hand.  
I hope you find out what you want.  
I already know what I am._

I watch you as you sleep in my bed. I decided that I need to keep a close eye on you to make sure that you don't get into any medicine cabinets, which have all been locked, or anything else that could harm you. I figured that I would lock you in my room with me, and keep the key around my neck in a spot I know you could not reach. I don't show it but I am mad at you Troy, how did you let it get this bad. I get in bed next to you, knowing that I should get full nights sleep because the next day will be a long one, along with the next night and so on and so on. My bed is huge, a king size, so we can easily stay on our own sides without putting each other in any compromising positions. You pull for me in your sleep. You smell better, I made you shower and brush your teeth…I washed your clothes and gave you boxers to wear, you insisted on not wearing a shirt, and since you almost hit me, I'm too scared to argue. I tried to make you eat but you refused. You are still pulling for me but I brush you off and watch you in your restless slumber. I wish that I could take this pain away from you, that I could just fast forward to past all of this, but then again I'm scared….because it's not just that things are changing, its that everything is going to be different. I let you pull me into your sleeping form as I give into the sleep, your breath steadies I can peacefully rest. I wake up to a completely drenched bed; you're profusely sweating yet shivering. I get blankets to cover you because you insist you're freezing. You beg me for a pill, your begging becomes demanding which soon turns into yelling, you ask me if I'm heartless, if I can't see the pain you're in. I don't know what to do, I feel so helpless. I let you scream, I let you curse at me, anything you need to do to get through this.

_  
And if it makes you less sad, we'll start talking again.  
And you can tell me how vile I already know that I am._

"Fuck Sharpay FUCK, how can you watch me like this, how?" you scream.

You tell me that I'm the reason you're like this, that when I shut myself off from you a long time ago, nothing was ever the same.

The next moment you're crying apologizing for your actions, collapsing in my arms as I rock you to sleep, you beg me to sing the song. Our song. And I do, anything to make you yourself again.

_  
I'll grow old and start acting my age.  
I'll be a brand new day in a life that you hate._

I go to school and hear what people say. Sharpay looks like shit. When's the last time you slept? They are mean; everyone is mean to me, even you Troy. But that's ok, because I know what they don't I know that my knight in shining armor is just on medical leave and will be back to save me. People wonder where you are, I say nothing. I go to school and come home to you.

_  
A crown of gold.  
A heart that's harder than stone.  
And it hurts a whole lot, but it's missed when it's gone._

When I walk into my bedroom, our bedroom now, I never know what to expect….will you be sorrowful or vengeful?

You know just what to say to push my buttons, you are trying your hardest to break me, but I won't let you. I know you don't mean the horrible things you say. I know it's just the withdrawal.

_  
Call me a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not.  
I'm glad that you can forgive.  
Only hoping as time goes, you can forget.  
If it makes you less sad, I'll move out of the state.  
You can keep to yourself.  
I'll keep out of your way._

It doesn't matter how hard the day has been, how many obscenities you've screamed, how many pillows you've thrown, how many crude comments you've made in my direction, every night before we go to bed, you tell me how much I mean to you, and how grateful you are as you pull me into you.

_  
And if it makes you less sad, I'll take your pictures all down.  
Every picture you paint, I will paint myself out.  
It's cold as a tomb, and it's dark in your room, when I sneak to your bed to pour salt in your wounds._

It's been two weeks; I'm tired and you're bitter. I try not to be selfish I try not to scream back but it's so hard. Normally I would tell you exactly where you could put your pills, but not now not with you like this. You are finally eating, and I see more improvements. It makes me happy although I am fearful that my passion for you is dying, that I could only handle so much of what you dish out.

_  
So call it quits or get a grip.  
Say you wanted a solution.  
You just wanted to be missed.  
Call me a safe bet._

I come home from a long day at school. Ryan and I keep fighting because I won't allow him to bring Gabriella home, in fear of her finding you. I just want to sleep, I just want to take a nice long hot bath, but I can't. Part of me thinks that I deserve this, that this is what I get for becoming the ice queen.

_  
I'm betting I'm not.  
I'm glad that you can forgive.  
I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget...  
So you can forget_

I eat some salad, and drag myself up to my room, mentally preparing myself to deal with you. You are getting better, but you are still not yourself. I miss you. I enter the room and to my surprise you are sleeping, and I am glad.

_  
You can forget  
You are calm and reposed.  
Let your beauty unfold  
Pale white, like the skin stretched over your bones.  
Spring keeps you ever close.  
You are second hand smoke.  
You are so fragile and thin.  
Standing trial for your sins.  
Holding onto yourself the best you can.  
You are the smell before rain.  
You are the blood in my veins._

I crawl into bed next to you, immediately I am pulled into your side. You open your eyes and tell me how beautiful I am, I scoff at the thought, I know I don't look like myself. Not the sexbot, who you have mental undressed for the past month in your dazed state. But that's okay, because I allow myself to believe it as I fall into a much needed slumber.

_  
Call me a safe bet.  
I'm betting I'm not.  
I'm glad that you can forgive.  
I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget._

Author's Note: sorry this chapter sucked, but I needed to get through this stage of the process to move on to some better stuff, thanks again for the reviews.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer I own nothing. The song is If by butch walker.

Sorry if my writings not up to par this chapter and the next are proving to be difficult to write

_All alone in your dirty chair, washin' all your dirty hair  
And you're wonderin' how long till they come for you  
_

I wake up with you in my arms, you look so tiny, so fragile, so….broken. It was me, I was the one who did this to you. I can vaguely remember my behavior these past 2 weeks, and what I remember makes me physically sick. I feel better now though, I still crave the pills, but not as much as I used to, not as much as I crave you.

_Watch the lines form on your face and down the block  
All the people chase just what you were after,  
Before this happened to you_

You wake up nearly 12 hours later and I tell you that I'm feeling better, and that it's all because of you. I go to pull you into a gigantic hug when I realize you flinch, I blow past it though, for if I was to acknowledge it I would have to kill myself. I praise you with thank-yous; I tell you how amazing you are. All you offer is a weak smile, this isn't you…this isn't what you do.__

And if I could be the chains I'd fall from you and let you fly to the angels  
And if I could be your pain I'd run from you so far away  
And if I could turn back time just one day  
It might just be enough to say all the things I never said to you

I watch you as you move around your room, and offer to move out of it so you could have it to yourself, you tell me that you don't mind, that you've become accustomed to the company. You are timid, but mind-numbingly beautiful. I fall for you, and pray that maybe you'll fall too.__

Make the plans to fall in place, only to fall behind in the race  
And you can't keep up and I know that it pisses you off  
And your roller coaster climbs the hill, up and down, it sure does feel a bit too much  
Are you ready to get off

I find the mixtape that I made you when we were 11; I put it in and clean your room, our room to the best of my ability. I dress up, Ryan picks out my clothes, I cut my hair…I try to make myself what you fell in love with. You walk in confused. You stare at me, with your head cocked to the side.__

And if I could be the chains I'd fall from you and let you fly like an angel  
And if I could be the pain I'd run from you so far away  
And if I could turn the time back just one day  
It might just be enough to say  
All the things I never said to you  


You open your mouth to speak but I beat you to the chase. I tell you everything a girl could possibly want to hear. I compliment everything about you, while trying to hold back the smile tugging at my lips. I'm not 100 but I know what I want Sharpay Evans, I want you.

_  
What you don't know won't hurt you  
What you don't show will kill you  
What you don't know won't hurt you  
What you don't show will kill you  
What you don't show won't hurt you  
What you don't show will kill you_

I speak for a good 5 minutes until I am finished, I wait anxiously. I cannot wait to hear all of the things you must be dying to say.__

And if I could be the chains I'd fall from you  
And let you fly like an angel  
And if I could be the pain I'd run from you so far away  
And if I could turn the time back just one day  
It might just be enough to say all the things I never said to you  


You're mouth opens painfully slow, I'm sorry escapes from you're lips, which leaves me here running, wondering if I was better off with my pills and stolen kisses.

_  
What you don't know won't hurt you  
What you don't show will kill you _


	9. Chapter 9

I own nothing. The song is "Stop falling" by pink

_I ain't lookin for a steady thing  
I ain't lookin for what love brings  
I'm still young and I ain't ready babe  
I'm still lookin for some better days  
I don't wanna give you everything  
I just wanna make you feel things  
If you ain't down to give me everything  
Just throw it away_

You're seemingly back to normal. That is if normal includes showering me with compliments and pulling me into long hugs. You apologize for your behavior and I can see the sickness in your eyes when we mention the pass 2 weeks.__

Don't assume cuz I'm a woman  
That I'll fall in love  
Don't expect I'm young and need to be took care of  
Don't wanna hear you got what I need  
Cuz how would you know before we speak  
You've gotta understand my side  
I've had a crazy, crazy life  
Nobody came along to open up my eyes  
You've gotta take what you can get  
Don't even bother with my heart  
Cuz I get a feeling I won't let it start

I pretend to not notice the longing stares you are sending towards me. I feel your eyes on me wherever I go. I'm not sure what is wrong with me, 3 months ago I would have killed to be in this situation, but then again back then the chances of this happening were slim to none. I'm scared, once again. It's becoming a sick cycle. One of us is ready to open up, the other is running scared. I pray to God every night to make you not love me. I don't want to do this to you, not now…I can't do this to you and I can't do this to myself.__

Please believe me  
I've been down this road and back again  
Learned my lesson and it was that love is not my friend

I come home, and my room is immaculate as are you. You are standing there with a goofy grin on your face and I curse that my prayers were not answered. Don't you see that you aren't seeing clearly Troy? Don't you see that I am a broken little girl? I'm not the same, you haven't said anything yet. We can still pretend this never happened, please just ask me if I like the room, don't say what you're eyes are already threatening to spill.

_  
For the day I put my trust in you  
Would be the day I say "I do"  
Don't expect me just to open up  
Maybe I'm just a little scared_

You tell me all the things a girl would die to hear. Our song is playing in the background and I am amazed that I just realized it now. A smile is nearly consuming your face as your long profession comes to an end.

_  
Please don't tell me what you think I wanna hear  
Oh baby save it, I've heard it all before  
There ain't nothin you could say, whoa, to make me change my ways_

You look at me in pure anticipation, and my heart breaks as I take a deep breath and contemplate how to handle the situation you have now put us in.

_  
So stop falling  
Stop falling  
You know you're falling...for me  
Stop falling  
Stop falling  
Stop falling...for me_

My mouth slowly opens and the words I'm sorry escape my lips.

_  
You've gotta understand my side  
I've had a crazy, crazy life  
Nobody came along to open up my eyes  
Oh baby, take what you can get  
Don't even bother with my heart  
I get a feeling I won't let it start_

You run, and I die.

_  
Stop falling..._


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I believe you have more than a hunch that none of this is mine.

The song is straitjacket feeling by the all American rejects.

_Back me down from backing up  
Hold your breath now it's stacking up  
Etched with marks, but I can deal  
And you're the problem and you can't feel_

I run, until I cannot breathe, which to be honest is not that far. The pills have taken a toll on me; I am coherent enough to admit that, and to extinguish any ideas I had about returning to them. I'm mad at you Sharpay, I know what you feel. I know that you know that you belong with me. I also know that you are stubborn, that you are a stubborn and scared little girl.

_  
Try this on, straitjacket feeling  
so maybe I won't be alone  
Take back now, my life you're stealing_

I still blame this all on you; if you wouldn't have shut me out I would have never lost you. We would be together, and you would keep me in my place as I kept you on cloud 9. I owe you my life, although I wish to hell you wouldn't have claimed permanent residence in my heart, which is currently stomped into pieces. I don't need you Sharpay Evans no, not at all. I can distinguish between what I need and what I want. No matter how bad you hurt me I will never deny my desire for you.__

Yesterday was hell  
But today I'm fine without you  
Run away this time without you  
And all I ever thought you'd be  
That face is tearing holes in me again

I try to sneak back into my house to sleep, but I can't get in. My parents don't believe me that I've changed, they tell me all the calls they've been fielding and how the school hasn't see me in 2 weeks. They give me a box full of my clothes and shut the door. I don't need them, and I still don't need you.__

Trust you is just one defense  
off a list of others, you don't make sense  
Beg me time and time again  
to take you back now, but you can't win  
Take back now, my life you're stealing  


I try everyone I can think of; no one will let me in. I wander like a lost puppy, until I end up back at your house. I don't need to be here with you, it's purely where I want to be. I am Troy Bolton, I do what I want.

_  
Yesterday was hell  
But today I'm fine without you  
Run away this time without you  
And all I ever thought you'd be  
That face is tearing holes in me  
but today I'm fine without you  
Run away this time without you_

You stare at me as I enter your house. I silently chide my heart for skipping a beat. You are crying. And I blame no one but you for that Sharpay Evans; it's your fault that you are all alone. Well technically you are not alone, because I am stuck in here with you, only because I want to be though. I want to flaunt what you passed up in your face.

_  
And all the things you put me through  
I'm holding on by letting go of you  
_

I take a shower to cleanse me of you and think about where I'm supposed to sleep tonight. I don't need to sleep with you in my arms. I don't need to have you close to me. I don't need you to rock me until I fall asleep. I just want to share a tight space with a hott girl. I just want to feel your body against mine. I just want you Sharpay Evans, I don't need you.

_  
And when that memory slips away  
There'll be a better view from here  
And only lonesome you remains  
and just the thought of you I fear  
it falls away  
_

I climb into our bed, as I began to shake. Not this again, not this feeling. But can you blame me? I understand it. I need to quit you Sharpay Evans but instead of going cold turkey I leave you in front of me, easily in my grasp. I'm not an addict though, I do not need you. I pull you close to me as I fall into slumber, just because I want to though.

_  
Yesterday was hell  
But today I'm fine without you  
Run away this time without you  
And all I ever thought you'd be  
That face is tearing holes in me  
but today I'm fine without you  
Run away this time without you  
And all the things you put me through  
I'm holding on by letting go of you_


	11. Chapter 11

High school musical and its characters are not mine. And it ends tonight is the all American rejects.

_Your subtleties  
They strangle me  
I can't explain myself at all.  
And all the wants  
And all the needs  
All I don't want to need at all._

You've come back to me; I pretty much knew you would. I let you hold me as you sleep…just because you need me though. I don't want you, and I certainly do not need you in my life with easy access to my mending heart.__

The walls start breathing  
My mind's unweaving  
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.  
A weight is lifted  
On this evening  
I give the final blow.

As you pull me on top of you in your sleep I make a difficult but necessary decision. I need to bring back the Ice Queen. I need to protect myself in stone, so I can rebuild my heart. My head is on your chest as I listen to the rhythm of your heart, I promise myself that this will be the last night I sleep with you, the last night I get a perfect night's rest.__

When darkness turns to light,  
It ends tonight  
It ends tonight.  


I wake up beneath you. This seems to be a reoccurring pattern with us. I almost wish I could flirt with you and huskily question you if you like it like that. But I don't I put on my stone face and you put your elbows on each side of my head and pull yourself up. I don't notice the fact that the shine in your eyes is almost visible again.

_  
A falling star  
Least I fall alone.  
I can't explain what you can't explain.  
You're finding things that you didn't know  
I look at you with such disdain  
_

I give you my best glare as you look down at me in anticipation. I push you off of me with all I have, and promptly march into the bathroom to take a shower before school. It takes everything I have not to cry while the smoldering hot water hits my face, I'm not worried about leaving you any hot water; I already know that you will be taking a cold shower this morning.

_  
The walls start breathing  
My mind's unweaving  
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.  
A weight is lifted  
On this evening  
I give the final blow._

You try to talk to me all morning but I ignore you. Because I need to, I need to not want you. And if you could just do me a favor for once in what seems like forever you would leave me the hell alone. Fuck you Troy Bolton; you are making this so damn hard.__

When darkness turns to light  
It ends tonight,  
It ends tonight.  
Just a little insight won't make this right  
It's too late to fight  
It ends tonight,  
It ends tonight.  


Before we are about to leave you grab my arms and lift me onto the table. You hold my body down with all you have and ask me if this is how it's going to be. I don't need to be elaborate in this match. I know the move I must make to end this game.

"Fuck You. Leave me the hell alone, Troy Bolton."

Game. Set. Point.

_  
Now I'm on my own side  
It's better than being on your side  
It's my fault when your blind  
It's better that I see it through your eyes  
All these thoughts locked inside  
Now you're the first to know_


	12. Chapter 12

_Tough, you think you've got the stuff  
You're telling me and anyone  
You're hard enough_

You leave me standing in your kitchen frozen.

"Fuck You. Leave me the hell alone"

You knew that would get me. You're smart; you know that the simplicity in those few words reflects the conclusion of our relationship. What you don't realize is that I am smart too. You are doing what you always do Sharpay, you are pushing me away because I am getting to close. Your actions only encourage me more, because now I know I am close. I am almost in your heart.__

You don't have to put up a fight  
You don't have to always be right  
Let me take some of the punches  
For you tonight  


I try to find you at school but it's to no avail, everyone stares at me but I really couldn't give a shit. I hear yelling, I hear someone yelling at you. I try to intervene and help you but as usual you don't let me. You don't have to always be strong, you built me up so I can be strong for you again Sharpay, please let me.

_  
Listen to me now  
I need to let you know  
You don't have to go it alone  
_

I try to talk to you after the altercation but you run away. It doesn't matter how many pills I've taken or how out of shape I am, you will never be able to out run me Sharpay, especially not when you're wearing those heals.

_  
And it's you when I look in the mirror  
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone  
Sometimes you can't make it on your own  
_

I ignore everyone as they try to talk to me as I chase you, they don't matter, no not anymore only you do.

_  
We fight all the time  
You and I...that's alright  
We're the same soul  
I don't need...I don't need to hear you say  
That if we weren't so alike  
You'd like me a whole lot more  
_

I catch you and throw you over my shoulder; I hear you screaming about the dress you're wearing and your underwear so I wrap my arms around your butt, hiding anything there would be to see.

_  
Listen to me now  
I need to let you know  
You don't have to go it alone  
_

I carry you to the music room, to the location of our last knock down drag out fight. You are still screaming, I ask you if you are going to listen which leads you to more screaming and now some kicking works itself into the mix.

_  
And it's you when I look in the mirror  
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone  
Sometimes you can't make it on your own_

I find a chair and sit you down. I barricade the door then ask calmly if you would just hear me out. You stare, I take that as a yes.__

I know that we don't talk  
I'm sick of it all  
Can - you - hear - me - when - I -  
Sing, you're the reason I sing  
You're the reason why the opera is in me...  


I tell you how I know that you are scared because I am getting close to you, and how tired I am of fighting with you every other minute. I tell you that I will wait until forever for you. I tell you that you are the reason I was into the musical, that you are the reason I started to sing long ago.

"All I ever wanted was to sing our song for you."

_  
Where are we now?  
I've still got to let you know  
A house still doesn't make a home  
Don't leave me here alone...  
_

I tell you that I will not move out of your house. I tell you how wrong it is for you to live there alone with Ryan who is never there anymore. I tell you how concerned I am that you feel the need to hide behind your Ice Queen facade, because I know that is not you. The real Sharpay is sharp, witty, a ball-buster even; but not a bitch…I know that you are not a bitch.

_  
And it's you when I look in the mirror  
And it's you that makes it hard to let go  
Sometimes you can't make it on your own_

I hold you in my arms look you in the eyes and reveal my not so secret secret.

"I love you Sharpay Evans, I always have, always will."

_  
Sometimes you can't make it  
The best you can do is to fake it  
Sometimes you can't make it on your own_


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: characters aren't mine and the song is Jem's.

Author's Note: Sorry this one took longer to update than it normally does, I was at crossroads as to how I should handle this.

_Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way You Love Me All The Time  
Maybe I'm Afraid Of The Way I Love You  
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way You Pulled Me Out Of Time   
And Hung Me On A Line  
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way I Really Need You  
_

Well, it didn't work not the way I wanted it to, at least you are finally utilizing the part of your brain that knows me ever so well. A stupid junior girl decides to pick a fight with me because her boyfriend checked me out as I walked by. I let her yell because quite frankly, she has no idea who she is messing with. I open my mouth to tell her exactly why her 'man' would rather look at me than her when you come, and try to alleviate the situation. I ignore you at tell the girl that maybe she should look in the mirror before she walks around calling people sluts, cause clearly she has no room to speak. You try to talk to me but I can't, it hurts too badly. So I do what I do best, I run, I sprint as fast as I can from the situation but more importantly from you.__

Maybe I'm A Girl And Maybe I'm A Lonely Girl  
Who's In The Middle Of Something  
That She Doesn't Really Understand  


I hear footsteps behind me and don't need to turn around to know that it is you, I hear your friends trying to talk to you but I never hear your step falter. You blow right past them; you blow right past them for me.

_  
Maybe I'm A Girl And Maybe You're The Only Man  
Who Could Ever Help Me  
Baby Won't You Help Me Understand _

Honestly, I want you to catch me. I want you to be able to see that. Part of me is happy that you are finally realizing that. You catch me like I hoped you would. I'm happy, but not too happy, because it's so hard to not be able to tell you what you want to hear. What happens next is what truly caught me off guard.__

Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way You're With Me All The Time  
Maybe I'm Afraid Of The Way I Leave You  
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way You Help Me Sing My Song   
Right Me When I'm Wrong  
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way I Really Need You  


You don't say a word. Just throw me over your shoulder completely ignoring the fact that I am wearing a short dress which is undoubtedly revealing my underwear. After a minute of my screaming and kicking you wrap your arms around me, so no one can see my panties anymore. I look up trying to figure out where you are taking me; it takes a few moments until it finally hits me. The music room the location of our last drag down, knock out fight.__

Maybe I'm A Girl And Maybe I'm A Lonely Girl  
Who's In The Middle Of Something  
That She Doesn't Really Understand 

I continue to scream because well, I have no idea what else to do. You are barricading the door so I can't escape, so I can't run away, so I can't avoid you.__

Maybe I'm A Girl And Maybe You're The Only Man  
Who Could Ever Help Me  
Baby Won't You Help Me Understand 

You profess your feelings again, but this time it's different. You are telling me the things you feel, instead of what you think I want to hear. You tell me that you know I'm not a bitch, and that you will not leave me alone. But, its what you say next that really gets me. You grab me, hold me close, look into my eyes, "I love you Sharpay Evans, I always have, always will".__

Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way You're With Me All The Time  
Maybe I'm Afraid Of The Way I Leave You  
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way You Help Me Sing My Song   
Right Me When I'm Wrong  
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way I Really Need You

Author's Note- there is one more chapter left, it might take a little longer to put up because I want it to live up to all your expectations. The song in it will be the song they were referring to as their song throughout the story, thanks for the reviews, please keep them up. As per request a Zac/Ashley fic is in the works, as far as I know there aren't any of those on here so I really want to make it perfect if its going to be the first one. Happy Fourth of July


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: None of its mine and the song is Oasis's

_Today is gonna be the day  
That they're gonna throw it back to you _

5 minutes have passed and you have yet to say a thing. I honestly cannot decide whether or not it's a good thing. I just keep looking at you, praying that you will at least make eye contact with me soon. You look up, and your eyes are pouring with so much emotion I can hardly distinguish one from the other.

"How dare you?" you whisper.

"How dare you, my life was going fine, Troy Bolton. I never got hurt, I never cried, I never had to deal with any of this. But then you had to come along and open up all these doors I've worked so hard to close. You pull me through hell and back. You were addicted to drugs Troy, and that's when you decided to come to me, why? Huh? Why? Because all of your so called friends decided to leave you high and dry?" you scream.

"No, its not--" I stammer.

"No, it's my turn Troy Bolton, you've done enough talking. The second you break out of your withdrawal spell you decide you want to be with me? What was that about Troy? How could you do that? You were in no condition whats so ever to do that to me. You couldn't distinguish left from right 2 hours earlier and I'm the bad person because I don't throw myself at you? You were so mean to me Troy. The things you would say those weeks, they were crude and malicious. Don't say sorry, because it's not your fault, I just want you to understand the circumstance. I'm not a bitch? You are seriously standing in front of me and telling me I'm not a bitch? Where have you been the past 6 fucking years Troy? I have been horrible to everyone, everyone including you. I'm a bitch, I make no excuses."

"You don't believe that." I whisper. "Your mom left you Sharpay and your dad ran with his tail between his legs a week later. No one spoke to you about it; you were left to deal with all of that shit. You were so young; of course you hardened your shell. Any sane person would have. There are a lot of things you are Sharpay Evans, but I will not let you stand here and think that you are a bitch, that you are the 'ice queen'--- far from it. You need to believe that, I need you to believe that. Because you will never love me Sharpay Evans, until you love yourself."

_By now you should've somehow  
Realized what you gotta do _

"I'm not done yelling at you yet Troy Bolton. You have no right to love me, you have no right to kiss me, you have no right, Troy, none at all."

"You have no right to blame yourself for what your mom did"

"Stop, just stop Troy."

"You did nothing wrong Sharpay"

"I said shut the fuck up Troy"

"She left because of her not because of you; you were the perfect daughter Sharpay"

"You don't know Troy, don't stand here and tell me this shit. You do not know" you scream as you run towards me and start punching me as hard as your tiny fists can.

"You have the right to be loved." I say as you push off of me.

_  
I don't believe that anybody  
Feels the way I do about you now  
_

"Do you know how hard it was Troy? How painful it was to watch you prance around with little Miss Perfect when I was dying inside? You promised you would always protect me Troy, you fucking promised, but all you did was prove her right."

"Prove who right Sharpay?"

"Her…my mom. She said that I wouldn't have what it takes to make the lead every time, that one day a girl would come along who was prettier, more talented, who was better. And she did. She took everything, my part, my status, my best friend. I knew that you were already gone Troy, but I didn't fully lose you until she came along."

"She didn't take me from you Sharpay, deep down I was always yours"

"Fuck you Troy, you say that but you don't mean it"

_  
Backbeat the word was on the street  
That the fire in your heart is out  
I'm sure you've heard it all before  
But you never really had a doubt _

"Why can't I say it? Why can't I say it if I mean it? Just because you stopped caring about me does not by any means mean that I ever stopped caring about you."

"Ha, me stop caring about you? That will be the fucking day Troy. I listened to that damn mixtape every night Troy Bolton. I memorized that song, our song. I cursed myself every time you walked by that I ever let you go. You have no idea, just how much I care."

_  
I don't believe that anybody feels  
The way I do about you now _

"You sure as hell have a funny way of showing me that you care."

"If I didn't care Troy do you think I would have stood by you for the past month? Do you think that I would have shut out my own brother and our twisted friends because of what they would say about you? Do you think that it would hurt this much to be this close to you if I didn't care?"

"It hurts?"

"It doesn't hurt you? The pain, it's killing me."__

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding  
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding 

"It doesn't have to hurt Sharpay, please just let me in."

"HA, you need to stop with these bullshit lines Troy, they might have worked on all the sluts you've been with in the past, but they won't get you anywhere with me."

"Stop judging me, you are supposed to be the one person who doesn't. I'm sorry if me caring about you seems like such an implausible occurrence--"

"Can you blame me? Name one instance since everything fell apart that would give me any indication that you still cared about me."

Silence.

"That's what I fucking thought"

_  
There are many things that I would  
Like to say to you  
I don't know how  
_

"It's not that easy."

"What do you mean it's not that easy?"

"You're not exactly the easiest person, Sharpay."

"Oh so it's my fault that you ignored me for the past 5 years?"

"Stop twisting my words, Sharpay. God dammit", I scream while punching the wall with everything I have.

_  
Because maybe   
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?  
And after all  
You're my wonderwall _

The second I hit the wall I know that, that was by far the dumbest thing I've done all day. I feel every bone in my hand shift, it's not broken but there is blood everywhere.

"Oh my God, Troy are you ok?" you ask as you gently grab my hand.

"Yea, I'll be fine"

"Good, how could you be so fucking stupid Troy. You need to stop hitting."

"You need to stop being so self-centered, you're not the only one who hurts here." I counter as I step closer.

"You are always preaching… shut up and look at yourself"._  
_

Step Closer.

_  
Today was gonna be the day?  
But they'll never throw it back to you _

"You are so judgmental" I scream as you step closer.

_  
By now you should've somehow  
Realized what you're not to do  
I don't believe that anybody  
Feels the way I do  
About you now  
_

"You are so fucking" you scream inches away from my face, "you are so fucking, hott". You jump in to my arms and kiss me with all you have. Your tongue forces its way into my mouth as we both fight for position in each other's mouth.

_  
And all the roads that lead to you were winding  
And all the lights that light the way are blinding  
There are many things that I would like to say to you  
I don't know how  
_

After God knows how long, you loosen your legs grip from around my waist, step away from me and touch your lips.

"Let me be the one who saves you" I plead.

_  
I said maybe   
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?  
And after all  
You're my wonderwall  
_

We stand here in deafening silence. When you start to hum our song, "Think you're strong enough to be my wonderwall?" you whisper while looking me in the eyes.

I smile the most heartfelt smile I can manage. "I love you Sharpay Evans" I state hopefully. "I love you Troy Bolton". It sounds even more perfect than I ever dreamed it would.

_  
I said maybe   
you're gonna be the one who saves me?  
And after all  
You're my wonderwall  
_

**Flashback**

"The last song, I put on there. It's about me and you Sharpay."

"It is?" an 11 year old Sharpay looks up at her best friend hopefully.

"Yea, wanna go listen to it?"

"Of course"

We went up to your room, as we did everyday. I put on the song and sat next to you on your bed. After listening to the song for a little bit I feel your eyes on me.

"So you're my wonderwall, Troy?"

"Yep, I'm the one who gets to save you. You're my best friend Sharpay. I hope you like the song, the first time I heard it I was convinced it was about me and you."

"About me and you?"

"About us." I smile.

_  
Said maybe   
You're gonna be the one that saves me  
You're gonna be the one that saves me  
You're gonna be the one that saves me_

AN: Alright well that was About Me and You. How could I not use wonderwall? Lol its my pen name…I must admit though I did have a couple of other songs in mind but none fit quite as well. I will most likely end up using those songs as one shot songifcs. I tried to bring it full circle at the end, I really hope you enjoyed the story as much as I did. I have my Zashley story in progress as well as another Troypay fic "its not so bad". Reviews would be nice. And don't worry, I have millions of Troypay ideas in my head, I only hope that they can live up to the standard of this one. Thank you to all my loyal reviewers, I really hope it was everything you hoped it to be.


End file.
